Restless Earth

Symmetry

As I motored into Crouch a few days ago I saw a couple of my neighbors loading a van in front of the Community Center. Since one of them had told me she needed an outdoor faucet relocated I thought I'd stop and mention that I could dig the trench for her this spring for free and that between Rob (the flyswatter) and I we'd certainly have enough pipe odds and ends to complete the job for her gratis. She then said she also needed a sprinkler system.

My approach to such "mission creep" is to say something along the lines of, "That sounds like a good idea. Can I bid on it?" That dispels the Free Lunch Mission Creep Syndrome (FLMCS) like nothing else. Well, the lady says, "Sure"...so I guess I'll give her a bid this spring.

Her friend and neighbor, Cletus, was listening to this and interjected that he had just received his irrigation bill (I'm the Sec/Treasurer and just set out bills) and was wondering why 'cuz he had payed a couple months ago. I patiently explained for the 500th time why there were two billings in 2006. My explanation didn't "take" though. The lady was kind enough to interpret for me. I'd look at Cletus and say, "It's Ok, there are two billings this year," and then the lady would look at Cletus and say the same thing. Why he understood her and not me is still a mystery. And no, Cletus is not deaf.

Somehow, the subject got changed to the Senior's Dance that apparently takes place weekly in Crouch. (By the way, the only two buildings in Crouch that are not firetraps are the Senior Center and Credit Union.) Cletus commented that the lights were turned-down too low and that it was a plot by all the old women to make it so that the studs like him couldn't see their aged frames. Cletus, who apparently considers himself quite the rug-cutter, went on to protest women who had mustaches and that he simply wouldn't dance with such a person.

All during his protestation, I was watching a big glop of drool run out the side of Cletus' mouth. Deep down I knew that if there was any justice in this world there would be a senior woman (sans mustache) stating, "I'll be damned if I'll dance with some horny, drooling old bastard."

posted by Spudgunner @ 8:25 PM